My Boys

My Boys

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Accumulation...

Accumulation \Ac*cu`mu*la"tion\, n. [L. accumulatio; cf. F. accumulation.]

1. The act of accumulating, the state of being accumulated, or that which is accumulated; as, an accumulation of earth, of sand, of evils, of wealth, of honors. [1913 Webster]

2. (Law) The concurrence of several titles to the same proof. [1913 Webster]

Accumulation of energy or power, the storing of energy by means of weights lifted or masses put in motion; electricity stored.

The trials and tribulations that Adam and I have entered with in the last couple of months are what we call "The Accumulation". It has been a stage of being accumulated that's for sure. There has been a lot of energy and power and masses put into motion during this process. There has definitely been a lot of electricity stored.

The issues haven't been anything new. Either issues swept under the rug and ignored until they couldn't be anymore. The majority simply the inevitable catching us completely unprepared. Events in life hitting all at once, and nothing you can do to stop them or control them. For me, the control freak a breaking point. Circumstances out of my control do not mix well with the need to fix everything.

First went Adam's car, then the water heater, then my truck had to have 2 new tires because something sliced mine apart. It's life events at the worst time. The no money no savings time. The weight of these burdens pushes down on the adults in the household. The bickering begins. The saying things you can't take back, and after a while of this beating each other down routine you look at each other and say these dreaded words. "What are we doing here? Is there anything worth saving?" While 2 little boys look at you with eyes begging that you do.

Then comes the Bottom. Rock bottom that is. For some the fall is further than it is for others to reach but the destination is the same. The state of emotions, thoughts, anger, bitterness, and frustration that come with this place are unbelievable. You will never know until you have been there. What you learn in life here is significant, and I hope and pray what we take away is even greater. It's not like Adam and I were Millionaires who lost everything, we have never lived far off the bottom to tell you the truth.

When we were first married we lived off Adam's $6.00 an hour job, while I attempted Nursing School and worked when I could on weekends which wasn't often. This started the accumulation long ago. I failed, and we went on Adam changed careers and so did I. We've brought 2 beautiful boys into the world, and have lived pay check to pay check with none left over the entire time. No room for the unexpected's in life, and sitting back watching and saying eventually this is going to get us. Eventually something is going to break and cost us big and we will be in a hole with no way out.

That day has come. The juggling act with the bills since disaster struck can be done no more. The hole has been dug, and now we must do what we need to do to get out of it. This is where it really gets hard. This is where the Marriage was really tested, and Satan was alive and well. I'm having to do thing I don't necessarily WANT to do. So is Adam. I dug my heels in and refused in the beginning, and even said "if that's my options you go your way and I'll go mine." but God got a hold of me. I was reminded that Jesus didn't want to carry the cross and die on it. He pleaded with his Father any other way Father than this? BUT when he knew it was the only way he did it, and he did it not for himself but for us.

So, we are moving this week to a house off of East Dewey. We live off of West Dewey now so I am calling it the Journey of how far the East truly is from the West, you know like the song. This will help in repairing our financial situation, and get our financial plan in place that we are unable to do here. Basically we are going to act our wage! Which isn't much. The prize is getting me through school in two years, and that will be our focus where we are going. So that once I am finished we may have a somewhat normal stable flow in life that we have never been able to have.

We hope to begin moving Tuesday, and covenant your prayers as this will be difficult. I am in the Middle of 4 Classes this semester, 2 are Internet and so it will be chaotic moving let alone trying to keep my classes from getting behind in the process. Pray for the adjustment as a family. Trent has lived here since he was a year old. He doesn't remember any where else. Jonah was brought home from the hospital here. Trent is not very excited about moving so far, but I know they will probably adjust easier than Adam and I. Pray for our Marriage if you are willing. We are so grateful for all who have rallied around us during this difficult time. After this weekend we have the Hope for the first time in a while that our Marriage is not going to be the payment for our mess ups. We have to pull through this together. Yet any married couple knows this is easier said then done at times.

I want to leave you with this, a little something I learned this weekend for if your Marriage is struggling or you are having Financial difficulties as well:
"Bad is Bad but it can be the beginning of something Great!"

Until Next Time,


Jenna said...

I am so touched by your honesty Julie. Thank you for your willingess to share your struggles...I know that God will use that to bring that same Hope you were talking about to others! I am praying for you guys!

Flo said...

Jules, if there's anything I can say, it's this. We've ALL been there. "Acting your wage" is hard. Especially when no one else is....especially when "your wage" is not enough....especially when life gets involved. But, speaking from experience, it took 5 years of "acting our wage", lots of garage sales and selling things we thought were "needs" and the proof is in the puddin' girl. It DOES work. It WILL get better and easier. Stick to budgets...sell things...downsize houses, cars, what have you, just do it. You WILL be stronger in the end - financially AND emotionally!! Praying for you!